God Says: "Change of Plans."

Since last summer, so much has changed for me and my walk with God. God has revealed more growth in this season in my life than probably ever. The older I become, the more I learn about the world we live in, and that some of life's events come with no invitation. There have been situations I've had to conquer, some people I've had to decide to love at a distance, big life changes I've had to adapt to that were never planned, some goodbyes or see you laters, and many detours where my life verses have been my biggest challenge. I've experienced much heartache and confusion since this past year, but so many things have been made clear and some I'm still praying to God about, but I know He is taking care of. I will say this: Without God, I wouldn't have got through any of it.

I want to walk with you through some highlights and pivotal moments that include answered prayers and unplanned circumstances that have changed the person I was since I last wrote to you. I am not even close to the same person I was last year. I am much stronger, confident, and determined thanks to all the trials God helped me conquer. I'll also make this known: I am thankful and relieved that my plans were not God's plans for me, or I wouldn't have made it to where I firmly stand now. I have been more connected with God the past few months, and I have clanged onto Him tight due to many circumstances that were not in my control nor part of my plans.

As many people know, I am planning to be a Registered Nurse, but my journey to get there hasn't been what I had previously planned. Now, what was the plan to start with? My goal was to graduate with my Associate's Degree in May of 2019, which was this past semester, and then I was going to graduate with my Bachelor of Science in Nursing by May or December of 2020, when, now, I am estimated to graduate with my Associate's in December of 2020. I am currently a second semester nursing student in the Medical-Surgical and Psychiatric Nursing classes coming up in the Fall, but, to me, I wouldn't have had this journey gone any other way. Why? Honestly, I could not tell you why besides that He has made something beautiful from someone who was broken and needing this extra time to prepare for bigger things than planned for herself. I thank God for delaying my time to graduate and adult, because I am not ready to face this world head on just yet. God is still molding me into what He wants, and it's going to be more beautiful than anything I could do in my own abilities.

There is a saying I've heard of before that says, "When you tell God your plans, He will laugh in your face." In my life, this saying is real and has taught myself to not always make plans, because what's the fun in that when God already knows what is going to happen anyways? Now, there are some situations that God will, at first, allow your plans to happen, but then later on down the road, you realize you're not as happy with your plans as God's plans. You're not at peace with yourself when you follow your checklist in life. In fact, it only creates worry and fear of how you'll plan the next steps, which creates anxiety and depression, because then you're aware you've digged yourself into a pit that you feel "stuck" in. Then, you ask God to get you out after you've went through all these detours that you could have avoided if you followed what God wanted to begin with. So, either way you go at it, it's God's plans; not ours that get the glory.

God has changed a lot of my plans, especially this past semester. So, now, I just go with the flow and am doing my best to trust the Lord instead of being stubborn and hard-headed of controlling things in life that I can't. Obviously, nursing school did not go as planned so far, but it doesn't mean God isn't wanting me to be a nurse. He's equipping me for my calling. A friend reminded me today that God doesn't call the equipped; He equips the called, and this is very true. There is much proof in the Bible that Jesus' disciples were not professionals of serving aside with Christ. Jesus didn't care about their performance; He saw their potential and started equipping them to spread the Gospel with just a small group of unqualified and ordinary people, but it became a beautiful start of the most life-changing and radical movements in history. That's what my God and your God can do: He can turn ordinary people to extraordinary people who can change the world if we are willing to answer the calling God has laid out individually for us.

God has equipped me through some trials I've went through lately. I will not lie to you. This journey has been rough and, at one time, seemed impossible for me to experience, but now I have realized when you tell God never, it doesn't mean never. On February 10th, my 19 year old sister passed away through a tragic event of hitting the back of her head, which changed a lot of my plans like taking a medical leave in nursing school , which made me take another semester off in nursing school, which, at first, made me really upset and had me question God. I believe there are moments where everyone has questioned God, and this was my time I decided to question God: the knower of all things. Before all this, I was on track and doing very well in my classes, but I was lacking some God time because of all the hours of studying. I was so focused on what I wanted and then plans changed with a snap of two fingers. I'l make one thing clear: God did not murder my sister; circumstances from other people did. Every one of us have free will to make our own decisions, and there were some wrong decisions that led to the lost of one of my sisters. I cannot bear to explain all that happened, but I will say God got the glory after it happened and revealed He had His arms wrapped around my whole family. At the time, due to our grieving, we were blind to what God was trying to do to show He was always there and never left. I believe this happens to every one of us, which is in our nature, and it's okay.

I was blind in what God was doing in the healing process, because I hadn't talked to Him enough to know His voice, which is why it hurt a bit longer than it should have. After sissy died, although it was unplanned and tragic, there was some hope that came from God after we told her "see you later." For some of the family, her husband accepted Christ, her mother started going back to church with sissy's daughter to keep raising her in church, I received a break from nursing classes that were consuming all my time that I couldn't of grieved through if I kept cramming information and pushing through, and many bonds were mended. I actually had no idea it was possible for me to receive a medical leave and take a break from nursing school and clinical rotations. Everyone else started seeing I was getting better day by day when I accepted to take a break, so I had time to reflect and grieve my own way in my own time, so I could be ready for what God had for the next seasons to come. God also blessed me with being part of Church Outreach Summer Staff again, becoming a First Class Mentor for the Fall, and I get to start exercising my gift of preaching the Gospel soon for Church Outreach, which I am so excited about.

I have no doubt that God is about to do some radical and beautiful things through me as He shows me His plans, and I don't show Him mine. I've conquered so much, learned so much about myself and God, and overall, accepted God to take everything and for Him to have control. I encourage anyone reading this to stop making plans. Stop rushing the process of getting where you feel you need to go, and start letting God show you His plans for you. The best is yet to come when you let God equip you after you answer His calling. I promise you will not be disappointed. I definitely know I will not be. I encourage you friends, family, and followers of God to answer the calling and start from there. Stop making plans, because God will say, "Change of plans," and you're back at square one.

"Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory. We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And, endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope in salvation. And hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." (Romans 5:1-5, NLT).